Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Becoming to America: Australians are drunks, Americans are hotheads, and other life lessons from my brief career at an Indian call center


I STAND FLUSH against the window of a Toyota showroom, trying to stay in a shrinking sliver of shade. We're on the cusp of midday, which, in Delhi in June, lasts most of the day and drives everyone into a languid torpor. I am waiting for a company cab, now an hour and a half late, to drive me across town to a call center, where an Indian "culture trainer" will teach me how to act Australian.


Call centers don't trust Indian infrastructure, as well they shouldn't, so the company cab-typically a white Toyota Qualis-has become a standard industry perk. This morning a class of 24 new hires, myself included, will be ferried from all corners of the city to the offices of a small firm named Delhi Call Centre. For three weeks, a culture trainer will teach us conversational skills, Australian pop culture, and the terms of the mobile phone contracts we'll be peddling. Those of us who pass the training course will graduate to the calling floor. Our first job at DCC will be to interrupt Australians at dinner and ask them to switch phone providers. In the Delhi area alone, maybe 100,000 call-center agents make their living selling vitamins to Britons or helping Americans troubleshoot their printers. I am almost certainly the only one who acquired his conversational skills accidentally-by being born in the United States.Blinds in TampaThe most common window treatments that often come to mind in Tampa are curtains and draperies. These seem to be the least daunting and intimidating for most Tampa residents. Make no mistake, though, because there are as many choices for curtains in Tampa as there are for draperies in Tampa.Solar shades now available in Tampa are specially treated to absorb heat and filter UV rays from the sun, cooling your interiors and protecting your furniture from fading. UV protection is also important for you and your family members.Available Window Treatments in TampaShades in TampaFortunately, there is a wide range of window treatments now available in Tampa. In fact, the highly prestigious Hunter Douglas brand of custom-made window treatments backed by a lifetime guarantee has its own dealer in Tampa. This should immediately put your fears regarding quality to rest.She sighed. "What did you study?"A uniformed guard next to me dozes on a stool, his rifle slumped in his lap. Behind the showroom window, which would be clear if two boys would stop rubbing it down with rags, a dozen red sedans glisten on a waxy white floor. On the dirt shoulder of the road, children hold hands as they walk to school.Nishant, now 26, moved to Delhi at age 18. His first job was tracking down Americans with delinquent bills. "In training they told us, 'It's easy. These guys have the money, they just don't want to pay.' They told us, 'Threaten their credit score, Americans can't live without good credit.'" On his first day, Nishant donned his headset, dialed the number on the screen and was connected to a 60-year-old woman in Tennessee. She had an outstanding hospital bill for $400. "I told her, 'Just pay this, what's the problem?' She told me, 'You don't understand, I can't pay.'" They talked for 45 minutes, and the woman cried as she told Nishant about the Iraq War and its toll on American families. "By this time I'm crying also," Nishant said. The same day, he was connected with a man livingin a trailer. "I told him, 'What's a trailer?' He told me, 'It's this tin shed; it gets 90 degrees; we don't have our own washroom.'" Nishant learned more about America that first day, he told me, than he had in his whole childhood.I must look wary, because he quickly explains that, after years of 50-hour work weeks, he's probably spoken with more of my compatriots than I have. "America is not all honey and roses the way they tell you," he informs me. "Truth is, 90 percent of the people there, you will find, they'll do the most stupid things, impulsive things. I know for a fact. At the same time, Americans are bighearted people, and the remaining 10 percent of them are smart. Bloody smart. That's why they rule the world."Shades, specifically solar shades, are a good idea for a kid�s room because they help regulate room temperature and they have the ability to filter dangerous UV rays, especially during hot summers.I know "20 minutes" is a Hinglish phrase meaning "30 minutes," so I call back after 40. A woman answers this time. "No problem, sir," she says, "20 minutes only." A sweat-and-sunblock solution drips down my forehead and stings my eyes. Behind me, the boys continue toweling the glass. The streaks they create blur into the streaks they wipe away.Shutters are louvered panels usually made of hard materials such as wood or vinyl. They can be placed outdoors or indoors. While both types provide window protection, indoor shutters need to be decorative, as well. Find the shutters that best complement your Tampa home�s interior design.Safety is a special consideration for window treatments for a child�s room. Curtains with ropes should be avoided because children tend to grab and pull. The strings on blinds could also be a safety hazard but if you can keep them out of reach, then you can probably use them because they are easy to maintain and they come is colorful styles. Draperies also tend to come in long lights which creates an easy access for more grabbling and pulling.WHEN THE QUALIS arrives, two hours late, I join two other new hires in the backseat. The air-conditioning vents emit an anemic trickle, as effective as an ice cube dropped into a swamp. While we idle in interminable traffic, my coworker Nishant asks where I'm from. "America?" he says. "I'll tell you about America."You can have your curtains custom-made in Tampa. If you prefer a more polished and elegant look for your home, you could opt to have draperies custom-made instead, also in Tampa. The choice of fabrics is practically unlimited, including cotton, silk and blends.WHEN I FIRST decided to apply for a call center job, I headed to Gurgaon, a commercial suburb of Delhi. Gurgaon was built 30 years ago by a corporation, for corporations. It was fallow farmland until 1979, when DLF, India's biggest developer, began buying up property. Gurgaon is a non-city. In my time there, I saw no sidewalks, convenience stores, or public parks-only stray cows foraging in the sun baked dirt between office towers.Indian BPOS work with firms from dozens of countries, but most call-center jobs involve talking to Americans. New hires must be fluent in English, but many have never spoken to a foreigner. So to earn their headsets, they must complete classroom training lasting from one week to three months. First comes voice training, an attempt to "neutralize" pronunciation and diction by eliminating the round vowels of Indian English. Speaking Hindi on company premises is often a fireable offense. Next is "culture training," in which trainees memorize colloquialisms and state capitals, study clips of Seinfeld and photos of Walmarts, and eat in cafeterias serving paneer burgers and pizza topped with lamb pepperoni. Trainers aim to impart something they call "international culture"-which is, of course, no culture at all, but a garbled hybrid of Indian and Western signifiers designed to be recognizable to everyone and familiar to no one. The result is a comically botched translation-a multibillion dollar game of telephone. "The most marketable skill in India today," the Guardian wrote in 2003, "is the ability to abandon your identity and slip into someone else's."Hunter Douglas has a wonderful line of window treatment designs. You can see their latest lines on their website. Artistic Windows of Tampa carries Hunter Douglas products in their store.

She made a face, scribbling something.




Author: Andrew Marantz


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